Often, I awake so early that it is still night out yet, so late that others in my world are just lying down to rest. I am 26 days into my 40th cycle around the sun and let me just say, it has been different and interesting to day the least. My Hormones have been high and low, gauging where and things are going has been nonexistent.
I am in a Fight and yet my Adversary is unseen.
So, who am I fighting? That has been the question…the question for the past three weeks or so. At, first the fight was with my co-workers; I called everyone on the carpet including myself. Only to find, all of my grievances, chucked off to the side as “oh maybe is just a simple issue of miscommunication. Question: How can 6 people all have the same miscommunication issue? I digress. Then, I fought with my fellow peers in my career genre, not really a fight more like a series of Power Puff Girl, “KaPOW, Zaam, POOF’s” You know, the moment when you see where you are truly going, how it has been designed for you to get there and yet, your peers think that hinders you my exclusion. Only to wake up a year from now realizing that were actually the footstools that coined the phrase, “POOF, and just like that all the Fucks I gave were GONE!”
Then I woke up this morning to find that all this time the fight has been with myself. The Dark side, the Shadow I hid from for most of my life, the side that says: “You couldn’t be me, if you needed too.” That side the side that knows the Most High walks with us daily and we sit in Their Presence daily. We are there expression of love in the living word.
So, why hide this shadow self?
Why cover the better part of who you are?
Why shield the world from this you?
I’ll tell you why, this Shadow side used to scare me, but I am not afraid anymore. I know that there is life and death and after death there is life again and for years that frightening me. the uncertainty of being clueless as to the next steps in life, the formidable unknown. The living blindly as having no Concept of time. Yes, I have full awareness of time, and I have no intention of allowing anyone else nor anything else hinder my collection of love while I am existing within time.
Concept of Time makes all the difference, I realized that before 40, most of live without thinking of our decisions, placing us in season of regret, depression and temporary elation. But what if you lived with a concept of Time on a daily basis? Lived in the presence of G-d on a daily basis? How different will your life be? How on purpose would your actions, behavior become? I can’t remember when I became so afraid of who I was born to be, but I do know that I have been operating in a season of fear for way to long and for that I apologize to the people who have been Cheering for me and the people who have been secretly plotting my demise. I have been sent you let you know that your works of iniquity and dealings in Dark Magic that you do no understand are Officially out of TIME.